MUM'S INFLUENCE

I grew up in a large household... Not because my parents had lots of kids, ( We were just four... My older brother, I and two younger sisters), but because our home was home to everyone who needed a shelter...
My mum was (still is) the kind of woman who would meet a random stranger crying by the side of the road, and she would invite the stranger home for free food and a place to sleep...
Gladly, those days weren't as evil as these days...
Only heaven knows how many robbers, rapists and psychopaths that would have been invited...
There was NEVER a time when it was just the six of us at home...
We always had house guests... both relations and strangers...
I used to always joke about how I would come back from school for the holidays only to discover my bed had been given to a stranger... So at night, when it was time to sleep, we would have to pull out spare mattress to spread on the floor in the sitting room...
That's how full our house often got..
We lived in a 3 bedroom flat that was always crowded and we got used to it...
My parents weren't rich... We were on the thin line between being poor and having just enough...
We were taught to manage, to share and be content... Those lessons have influenced me to this very day...
I watched my mum take out from the very little we had, to give to those who had way less than we did... Those who had nothing...
I watched her divide food that was barely enough for us... to share with those who were hungry...
I watched her try to solve other people's problems while neglecting her own...
My father was equally hospitable...
Sometimes, he would tease my mother about how we had as much problems as the people she was trying to help...
Sometimes, he would get angry because my mum would 'overdo' it....
We were not spared in her 'Reach out ministry'...
I remember times my mum would force me to go with her to visit someone who was ill...
Or to go see a poorer family...
On days like that, I would be grateful for the little we had...

I remember one day, my mum literally dragged me along with her to go see a woman who had just had a baby...
We took a small bag of food items..(including all the onions we had)and went to see her..
The woman, her husband and 5 children including the newborn lived in one room... The toilet was outside. ..public..
The room was stuffy and smelled badly of urine and filth...
She sold 'akamu' for a living, and the soaked corn stood at the corner of the room, smelling..
When I wrinkled my nose, my mum shot me a warning look.. as if to say "Don't you dare"..
On our way home that day, my mum told me something I would never forget... She said "it doesn't matter how low you are... There's always someone lower... And if you can, you should try to help them in anyway you can"..
Funny how she's the same person who constantly warns me to be wary of 'helpless' people...

When it comes to reaching out to people, I think my mum has been a great influence..
I'm not there yet... but I'm trying.. in the little way I can...
I probably may never be as selfless as my mother... But I'll try to do the best I can...
I'm not a saint... far from it...
I'm probably one of the most messed up humans I know...
Even though I and my mum don't agree all the time... I hope she knows she raised a good woman..